A little more than I wanted to share

Hello everyone, I am so happy to be here and thrilled about my new lifestyle choice to get fit. I have two huge goals that I am working on and in my opinion I am doing real good scale number wise, but I could be doing a whole lot better.

Let me stop for a second, hit rewind and give you all some background information. I am 33, father of 3 beautiful, bad, little girls ages 8, 7, and 6 who think I am the best thing since slice bread, I have not been the best father at all do to not being able to hold down a job and just bad decisions in life. Do to their mom and my self being young and dumb when we decided to have kids we had no steady foundation, a lot of play in us still and just plain ole lack of dealing with responsibilities lead to countless broken leases from not being able to pay rent, repossessions, my oldest at 6 being in 3 different schools in 3 different counties, Homelessness, sleeping in cars, and the list goes on...

My love for their mom was intoxicating, it was like a drug. One day I woke up and said this is crazy, I love this woman but I can't go on like this, "glancing at my 3 girls crunched up on a pull out love seat sofa in the current motel room the 5 of us where living in". I decide to stop trying to making a bad thing work. I made one more plea with their mom for us to get it together for the sake of our kids and We just could not get on the same page. a few months later of some what ok times and a lot more bad i just decided to throw in the towel and try to make a better life for our kids on my own.

 I have been homeless on and off for about the last 4 years, child support is killing me. They take out so much money i can't afford a place of my own.  I am currently staying with my friend in Killeen hoping to get my life on track so I can start seeing my kids again and provide a better life for them because they have had Ni would not call it a hard life but their life could and should and will be much much better.

I have tried to loose weight many of times and fell, Do to a lack of will power and also everyone telling me it will take years for me to loose what I want to loose. Thinking back if I would have ignored what others said all them years ago I could have been the size I wanted to be as we speak. July 2, 2012 After watching Extreme makeover weight loss edition where I saw a guy loose 100 lbs in I think it was 6 months I was totally motivated. I got online and started a blog and joined some free weigh loss sites because I know I would need the motivation to stay at it when i want to give up.  My beginning weight was 377 and as of today 07-07-2012 I am at 368. That's a 9 pound weight loss in 5 days. I dont care if it is just water weight, it makes me feel good. and is motivating me to keep the scale going down.

I was suppose to start my Insanity workout program today but I hurt my shoulder to the point it hurts when i try to raise it over my head. So I have decided to put it off until Monday, hopefully by then i would have healed. I know when I start this program it will be hard as hell and I also know that there are some things on the dvd sets that I physically can not do, do to my size. At first this was putting negative thoughts into my head and almost had me convinced I should not do it but I decided for once to ignore that negative voice and push through and i will push through this program and earn my Fucking shirt and the body i always knew i could have if I really wanted it. #IIIU?